I have learned quite a lot in these last 3 months about being in a relationship/marriage than I ever have in my entire life. Let me share with you some of the profound things I have learned (that you may possibly know already, but bare with me. I'm a slow learner).
1. The wife is not always right, even though she is the wife. -- Many people have given us the advice, "She's always right, and don't bother arguing with it." Personally, I think that's quite possibly some of the worst advice a person can give. As much as I would like to be right all the time, that is not the case. And if I don't recognize that I can be, and most often am, wrong, how will I possibly learn what is right? I hate admitting that I'm wrong. HATE it. But, in all honesty, admitting that I'm wrong is quite a humbling experience, and a necessary experience as well. Kurt and I have grown so much closer because we are honest with each other when one is right and one is wrong.
(Moment of truth: half the time, both of you are actually right...)
2. Paying your tithing brings blessings. -- As you all know, I am in school. This school happens to be a very expensive school. And I don't have a job, which means my wonderful husband (who graduated 2 years ago) gets the opportunity to work full time and pay for my schooling. But regardless of how much we have to pay for our schooling and our living expenses, we are diligent in paying tithing and fast offerings. I have seen so many blessings in being obedient and paying tithing: things last longer than what you had planned, financial situations seem to work to our advantage, money literally shows up in places where you didn't think you had it, opportunities to save money reveal themselves (which helps fix that tight financial situation of ours), etc. I am so grateful to be married to someone who is obedient and willing to follow the commandments of God. He's a keeper.
3. Weekly Date Night is VERY important. -- I am at school pretty much all day, and Kurt is at work all day. It's nearly impossible to leave work at work, and school at school. We love getting out and participating in activities together. Kurt and I have gotten quite good at minigolf. Today we went to Seven Peaks (a water park in Provo, UT). Sometimes we go out to dinner, other times we stay in and play board games. But date night gives us the opportunity to forget about the challenges that come with work and school, and focus on building our eternal relationship. I am so thankful that I get to spend so much time with my husband. We have had so many opporunities to learn more about one another and grow closer together.
4. Take time to cook dinner, and eat it together.. -- I was a terrible cook when we first got married. I could pretty much only cook pasta, and microwave the spaghetti sauce. I was so bad, I would cook my own dinner, and Kurt would cook his own dinner, and then we'd just eat it together. Now, I'm a guacamole-making, salad-tossing, salmon-grilling, taco-stuffing, garlic bread-baking Chef. I am quite proud of myself. Not only did I develop a new talent (which is still in need of a lot more work), I have a very happy husband. We both love food, and we both grew up eating with our families every day. It was difficult trying to eat together when we were both preparing different dinners and then trying to eat them together. I would usually finish cooking and eating before he had really even started making his dinner. So, I finally made some effort to cook for two, and make meals that BOTH of us enjoyed. Then it became a lot easier to eat together. And we enjoyed it because we were eating good food. Overall, it's a win win situation.
5. Take pictures and hang them in your home. -- I used to take pictures all the time, and I've now gotten lazy. I'm one of those people who feels bad asking someone else to take a picture. But then I look back and realize that there are so many experiences that I wish I had documented! My first goal with pictures is to take as many as I possibly can within our first year of marriage.
I have thousands and thousands of them on my computer and many that are printed, but unfortunately we haven't gotten around to hanging any of them. My next goal is to hang pictures in our home before summer ends. What I love about many of the pictures we have is that they're pretty much all family portraits. Since there's only Kurt and me, every picture is a picture of our family. That's given me more motivation to take more pictures, and hopefully hang some soon! I think it will bring more of the Spirit into our home if we show that we have a family-centered and gospel-centered home.
As much as I have learned these past 3 months, I have much more to learn. There is so much to know about being a wife, that I sometimes feel sad that I don't know much. But I have eternity to learn. Not that I will put off learning because I have so much time to learn, but I will definitely stop beating myself up for not knowing everything within the first three months of being a new wife.
I am so grateful for such a kind and loving husband, who takes time to understand me and get to know more about me everyday. He's my best friend, and has sacrificed so much for me already, and it's only been a couple months! I look forward to the eternity of happiness that I get to spend with my Sweetheart!
